Kids Jokes

A first grade teacher was looking at her students as they were trying out their desk computers. One boy was staring at the screen, looking dumbstruck and confused. The teacher came and read what was on the screen and in her most reassuring voice said, “The computer wants to know what your name is."

The boy then leaned over and whispered, “My name is David."

Entertainment Jokes

Over a remote Scottish island a helicopter lost power and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. “Is there a mechanic in the area?” he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. “No,” she finally said, pointing down the road, “but we do have a McArdle and a McKay.”

Toilet paper

A couple is lying in bed, and then all of a sudden the guy grabs a piece of toilet paper, and starts rubbing it between her wives breasts....
Then after a while the wife asks angry what he is doing...

Well the guys says: well I hope that your breast get bigger by doing that...

The wife says angry: do you really think they will get bigger by doing that !!

Well the guy says: well it worked for your ass..

Condoms

A father and his son are walking in the grocery store, and they are passing the condom rack.. The kid stops and looks...
then he says.. Dad, why are there so many different packages of condoms.. ?

The father says: well my son, everybody has their own needs, so also different packages...

ah.. the kid says..
So why is there a 4 pack ?
Dad says: well that is for the students.. Every week they party, so one for each week in the month...

ah.. the kid says..
So why is there a 7 pack ?
Dad says: well that is for the loved ones.. 1 for each day.

ah.. the kid says again.
So why is there a 12 pack then ?
Dad sighs deeply and says.. Well son that is for the married people like me, one for each month !!

Miscellaneous Jokes

Mo attends to a revival and listens to the sermon. After a while, the pastor asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Mo gets in line and, when it’s his turn the pastor asks, “Mo, what do you want me to pray about?” Mo says, “Pastor, I need you to pray for my hearing.” So the pastor puts one finger in Mo’s ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays for a while. He removes his hands and says, “Mo how’s your hearing now?” Mo says, “I don’t know pastor, it’s not until next Monday.

Kids Jokes

Three young boys were boasting about their grandpas. The first boy said: "My grandpa is a great swimmer. He can swim for hours before getting out of the water!" The second boy said, "That's nothing. My grandpa always goes swimming at 6:00 in the morning every day, and only comes back at 9:00 pm because my mom says he has to!" The third boy says, "Your grandpas are both bad at swimming! My grandpa started swimming in this pond 20 years ago, and he hasn't come out since!!!"

Miscellaneous Jokes

A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company, “Sir, we have detected an unusual pattern of spending on your card, and we are calling to see if everything is alright.”

“Yes,” replied the man. “My card was stolen over a month ago.” “Why didn’t you report your card as stolen?” asked the card company representative. The man replied, “Well, whoever stole my card is spending a lot less than my wife!”